Nag #3 - So Do Empires Fall

I can’t resist a good history lesson.

I have been studying the rise and fall of the Roman Empire for the last four years or so. My girlfriend tells me that a pedantic knowledge of ancient history makes me seem taller, with a resolute hairline and rock-hard abs.

I may be paraphrasing.

Nag #2 - Boring Writers

            It’s like speed dating, but the stakes are much higher.

         I believe that the most valuable piece of real estate in any kind of writing – short story, essay, novel, you name it – is the first page, or what might take an average reader sixty seconds to read. It’s what casual browsers in book stores might look at, or what the sample page on Amazon or Smashwords might show. That’s where the game is won or lost. Hook your reader there and celebrate as they read the rest of it, or cry like a little girl as they move on to another book. So much like speed dating. Although the people who run speed dating events discreetly ask you to leave if you start hooting or weeping. Then they insist. And they've already called security.

            Good times. But I digress.

Nag #1 - Xombee Guy

Premise: The Morning Nag started on my 6:30 am drive into work. It turns out that I shouldn’t listen to the news, ingest caffeine, try to figure out why my pets act the way they do, or think about why my dishwasher isn’t working on my morning commute. I started this blog to work out some of these issues. Brace yourselves.

Mission: To pester the bejeezus out of people or institutions that I find frustrating, hoping to nag them into forthright action. No one is safe. No one.

Today on The Morning Nag we have Xombee Guy, America’s most loveable zombie, star of the hit webcomic of the same name. My purpose is to nag his creator, Mark Gosson, into continuing the webcomic past his self-imposed, arbitrary deadline of one year. I mean, come on…

TMN: Xombee Guy, welcome. Thanks for coming on the blog.

XG: Blog? McDuff told me this was a job interview. I’m going to kill him. Hmmm – I bet he tastes like mutton and haggis.

TMN: Ah. Yes. So, you were once a human, correct? And then you became a zombie?

XG: Yes. My rebirthday is coming up in May, 2013.

TMN: What kind of changes have you noticed since your…transformation?